Calvin and Hobbes' Day Off
by NMMacc18
Summary: Calvin fakes getting sick, which somehow works, and decides to take the day off school and cause chaos with Hobbes. However, Principal Spittle knows Calvin's faking, and is out to get Calvin. What will become of this day off? Read to find out! And yes, this is somewhat of a parody of Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
1. Calvin's Newest Idea

**Chapter 1: Another Crazy Idea by Calvin**

Hobbes was swimming. Well, swimming in tuna, and eating tuna with it. Hobbes was enjoying himself, eating and swimming with tuna, it all seemed like a dream. Then, he saw Calvin, except as a giant.

"Wake up Hobbes."

"What you mean? I'm wide awake you maroon."

"WAKE UP YOU DINGY FURBALL!" Calvin yelled as he shoved Hobbes off the bed.

"Was that really necessary?" Hobbes groaned as he got up.

"Yes, and keep quiet, because Mom and Dad are sleeping."

Hobbes was confused, and then realized that Calvin's alarm clock read 4:57 am.

"Is it Christmas already?" Hobbes asked confused.

"No, I'm taking measures so I can skip school."

"How?"

"Simple, just pull a Ferris Bueller." Calvin said as he tried checking his temperature to see if the hot compress was working.

Hobbes groaned, "I think you mean, pulling a Calvin."

Calvin rolled his eyes. "Look, I got the clamy paws, I got the fever, what else is there to do?"

"Uh, send a letter to the school telling them your're sick."

"That's where you come in."

"Why do I have to do it? They'll just think it's you in some funny voice."

"I meant send an e-mail to the school furball, now get cracking on it while I make my sickness be realistic as possible." Calvin said as he left the room.

Hobbes sighed, and he trudged exhausted to the family computer, started it up, and luckily to Hobbes, the computer was still on the e-mail site. Hobbes looked around, and saw Calvin had scribbled down the school's e-mail address. He then proceeded to write a letter that he figured would be believable.

But unfortunatly, Hobbes isn't the greatest of spellers, so his letter probably wouldn't look believable.

 _ **Deer Pricncypale Spitte,**_

 _ **Plese exuse our sun Calvin for todays clases, he is very sik and is resting in bed so he dosen't infekt anybodi with his contagous deisase.**_

 _ **If u don't beleive this mesage we wil tak our sun to another skool where thire isn't no doubting princypales at al.**_

 _ **Thank u,**_

 _ **most Sincerley,**_

 _ **Calvin's parnets.**_

Hobbes grinned before sending the message. "Nobody will know the wiser." he thought as he clicked the send button.

 **A few hours later...**

"Huh boy." Calvin's Dad stated as he looked at Calvin. "He looks pretty sick to me."

"I think it's probably best that we keep him home today, since the doctor's office is closed today, and I'm meeting my friend for today, I'd say it would be for the best." Calvin's Mom said as she looked at Calvin's 100.1 "fever."

"Ugh, are you sure, I need to go to school so I can go to a good college and live a successful life." Calvin said in a fake sick voice.

"He's sick alright, especially if he said something like THAT." Calvin's Dad said as he ran to catch his bus.

"Alright Calvin, I'm going to meet my friend for the day, since you'll be in bed all day, I got some stuff set up for you at your desk in case you need something."

"Alright, that's good." Calvin said before drifting off to sleep.

And with that, Calvin's Mom left, not knowing the wiser. As soon as Calvin's Mom left, Calvin got up.

"They bought it."

"I told ya Hobbes, I told ya." Calvin said grinning as he got dressed.

"I am impressed that actually worked." Hobbes said.

"Indeed, because I'm a genius." Calvin said as he finished getting dressed. "Oh yeah, you used spellcheck for the e-mail right?"

"Oh, yeah I did that, made it look convincing." Hobbes said, coming up with a quick lie. Luckily for Hobbes, Calvin believed him.

 **Meanwhile at School...**

"Calvin? Calvin? Calvin? Calvin?"

Miss Wormwood was taking attendance in the morning at school, and was slightly surprised to see that Calvin wasn't there.

"I guess he's absent, Susie, take the attendance down to the office please." Miss Wormwood said as she handed the attendance sheet to Susie.

"At least I'll have a peaceful day." Miss Wormwood thought to herself.

Meanwhile, Principal Spittle was looking closely at the attendance, he looked how Calvin was the only one absent from Miss Wormwood's class, and he looked at the badly misspelled e-mail Hobbes had wrote.

He groaned.

"He's definitely skipping school. I'm going to get him, he's not going to get away with this." He grumbled as he reached for the phone at his desk.


	2. 6-Year Olds Can't Drive

**Chapter 2: 6-Year Olds Can't Drive**

 **"** So what are we going to do?" Hobbes asked Calvin as they went into the garage.

"Simple. We're going to drive into town and do a bunch of stuff Ferris Bueller would do." Calvin said as he opened the garage and got into the car.

"Don't tell me your driving." Hobbes said groaning.

Just get in the car you big sissy." Calvin said as he started the car.

"But we could get into town in a safer way. I'll let you rent a limo, a chauffeur driving a Cadillac, or a Ferrari." Hobbes said desperate to try and change Calvin's mind.

Nonetheless, Calvin switched the car into the reverse gear, and the car slid down into the street, but not into the ditch unlike the last time Calvin and Hobbes attempted to move a car.

Hobbes groaned, knowing he was defeated, and hopped in the car with Calvin.

"Okay, you work the pedals, I'll work the steering wheel." Calvin said as he attempted to get a good grip on the steering wheel.

Hobbes groaned again, as he got down near the pedals of the car, and slammed on the gas.

"Just let me know when we need to slow down and such." Hobbes said as he worked the pedals.

"I will." Calvin said, but Calvin being Calvin, he simply steered off the road and out of the way when it looked like he would need to stop. This created several angry drivers, and caused numerous accidents, but Calvin and Hobbes took no notice.

Meanwhile, a police officer was sitting in his car with his speed gun, and when Calvin's car passed by, he nearly spit out his coffee when he saw the car going 97 MPH.

"This is Officer Watterson, I'm starting to pursue a vehicle that was clocked at going 97 MPH." The Officer said on his radio as he slammed on the gas of his car and started chasing after Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin was still steering out of control, and then he heard police sirens behind him.

"What are the police doing after us?" Hobbes asked, "I thought I told you to tell me when to speed up, slow down, and whatnot so we don't get arrested!"

"There's no time to talk! Slam on it!" Calvin said as he desperately tried to find away out of his jam.

Hobbes slammed on the gas and the car picked up speed. Calvin steered the car into a secret path that he noticed, and it took them straight into the big city.

"That was close." Calvin said relieved, as he steered the car to a valet.

"You have money for the valet?" Hobbes asked.

"I have some Calvin Dollars, he'll fall for it hopefully." Calvin said, Hobbes groaned.

Calvin and Hobbes pulled into a valet station, and hopped out of the car.

"Take good care of it." Calvin said as he handed some counterfeit "Calvin Dollars" to the valet person.

As Calvin and Hobbes left, unbeknownst to them, the valet got his buddy to jump in and start a joy ride with the car.

"You think the car will be safe? Won't they see the mileage?" Hobbes asked.

"We'll just drive backwards on the way back to take the miles off." Calvin said, as Hobbes face palmed.

"So what are we going to do?" Hobbes asked.

"I don't know, the only constant of today is not getting caught." Calvin said as they continued onward.

Meanwhile, Principal Spittle parked his car in a parking garage, and hopped out.

"He won't get away so easily." Principal Spittle muttered to himself as he began to

:


	3. How (Not) to Spend a Day Off

**Chapter 3: How (Not) to Spend a Day Off**

"So what should we do first?" Hobbes asked as Calvin and Hobbes walked through the city.

"If it was baseball season, I'd suggest sneaking into a game." Calvin said.

"What if we..." Hobbes said trying to think of something, and then his stomach grumbled.

"I know! Let's hold up McDonald's and have them give us free food!" Calvin said.

"But we don't have masks."

"I brought some with me."

"Can't we just pay with real money?"

"I don't have any."

Hobbes groaned, and just put his mask on as Calvin barged in with a water gun.

"THIS IS A HOLD UP! WE DON'T WANT MONEY, WE JUST WANT FREE FOOD!" Calvin said as he waved his water gun around.

The cashier looked at Calvin, "Shouldn't you be in school kid?"

"I HAVE PAINT IN HERE!"

"OK! OK I'll get you 4 of everything off the menu! We're getting it ready! Please don't spray us with paint!"

A few minutes later, Calvin and Hobbes were eating in the park with their large amount of McDonald's Burgers.

"I have to say, that worked out pretty well." Hobbes said.

"Indeed, that's because I hav-" Calvin never finished his sentence, as he heard an all too familiar voice.

"CALVIN! YOU GET OVER HERE THIS VERY INSTANT! YOU WON'T BE GETTING AWAY WITH IT THIS TIME YOUNG MAN!"

It was Principal Spittle.

"OH MAN! RUN FOR IT! RUN FOR IT HOBBES! RUN!" Calvin yelled as he and Hobbes ditched their meal and fled for it.

"I'M GOING TO GET YOU LITTLE..." Principal Spittle said as he sweated to catch the two, he eventually cornered Calvin in an alley.

"I've had it Calvin, I've just had it. I swear when we get back to the school, your going to get the wor-"

"Hey look! A Donut Shop!"

"Really?! Where!?"

And with that, Calvin and Hobbes escaped Principal Spittle.

"I'M GOING TO GET YOU CALVIN! EVEN IF I DIE DOING THIS! IT'LL BE WORTH IT TO GET YOU EXPELLED! I'LL BE ABLE TO DIE HAPPY!" Principal Spittle said as he gave chase to the two once again, but then he crashed into someone.

"Spittle? What are you doing out today?"

Principal Spittle gulped.

It was the Superintendent.


	4. Double Trouble

**Chapter 4: Double Trouble**

"Well! Er! Mr. Superintendent! I uh..." Principal Spittle stuttered trying to think of something to say to his boss.

"Relax Spittle, your not in any trouble. I just wanted to know why you were out and not at school." The Superintendent said in a calm voice.

"Well, you know, that little devil Calvin decided to cut school, and I've been chasing him for the last 45 minutes or so."

"Remind me who Calvin is again?"

"You know, the one who took over the school."

"Sounds somewhat familiar, but didn't he do something else?"

Principal Spittle groaned.

"The Noodle Incident kid."

"Oh yeah."

Meanwhile, while the two went searching for Calvin and Hobbes, Calvin and Hobbes were watching a movie called Technical Foul.

"Last time I checked, two bald guys who rig games with Will Ferrell in a movie together makes it stink." Hobbes grumbled.

"This is a work of art! Plus Joey Crawford is retired, and you've never seen Howard Webb ref before! You just listen to the media!" Calvin said.

"Shut up, Ohio's teams stink anyway."

"We won the NBA Finals!"

"Because it was rigged."

"Shut up and watch the movie you flea bag. Besides, Michigan's teams aren't that good either."

Unfortunately for Calvin and Hobbes, the Superintendent and Principal Spittle heard all of this.

"So we know he's in there with someone else, so what now?" Principal Spittle asked.

"Simple." The Superintendent said as he got a running start as he prepared to break open the Emergency Exit door. "Take them down like men!" as he crashed open the Emergency Exit.

"Who's messing with the emergency exit?" Calvin said.

"We got you now Calvin." Principal Spittle said.

"RUN FOR IT HOBBES!" Calvin said as he and Hobbes dashed out of the theater.

And so began another chase, Calvin and Hobbes ran back to get their valet, which had just come back from it's joy ride.

"Step on the gas! Step on the gas!" Calvin said as he and Hobbes got in. They got a good start, but Principal Spittle and the Superintendent were hot on their trail and Principal Spittle's car.

"Hopefully we can get away from them, as long as this car has enough gas." Hobbes said.

But of course, the car ran out of gas just as Hobbes said that.

"Nice jinxing us flea bag." Calvin said as he jumped out of the car. But as soon as the two got out of the car, they were cornered by the Superintendent and Principal Spittle.

"It's the end of the line for you Calvin, especially in our district among other things." the Superintendent said, grinning with Principal Spittle.


	5. The End of the Day

**Chapter 5: End of the Day**

Calvin grumbled to himself as he sat in Principal Spittle's office while the two were giving a very lengthy lecture to Calvin. But Calvin had a plan to get out of this.

"We've put up with your antics far enough, so we have no other choice but to expel you." Principal Spittle said.

"And we'll also make sure this goes on your record, and make sure it goes with you to whatever school you end up going to. Oh yeah, we'll be calling your parents as well." The Superintendent said as he reached for his phone.

And at that very moment, Calvin grabbed his water gun that he had stuck in his pocket, he sprayed it at Principal Spittle and the Superintendent, and dashed out with Hobbes.

"How did you get away?" Hobbes asked as the two ran for home.

"Simple, I sprayed them with Forgetful Fluid I made and dashed out." Calvin said.

"So they won't remember anything?" Hobbes asked.

"Hopefully." Calvin said as the two entered their home and went up to Calvin's room so they could act like Calvin had been in bed all day.

Meanwhile, back at the school, Principal Spittle and the Superintendent were confused and had forgotten everything that had happened.

"Why am I here Spittle?" The Superintendent asked him.

"I don't know why." Principal Spittle said, as the two tried to figure out why they were in the office.

 _ **Later...**_

"I'm surprised your parents still bought that you were sick, and they still think you are." Hobbes said as the two were reading comic books in bed.

"Well it's simple Hobbes, there's one thing to sum this all up." Calvin said.

"That life moves pretty fast, and if you don't stop and turn and look around once in a while, you may miss it?"

"Heck no! It's because I'm a genius! Duh!" Calvin said as he went back to reading his comic book.

Hobbes simply groaned, while Calvin simply grinned, proud of his accomplishment that day.

 **THE END**


End file.
